Paris 2011 - sh*t happens

The last night we were in Paris I thought to myself... I really wanted to see the Arc de Triomphe! I knew we could wait until the next time we visited Paris, but the idea of seeing it that evening just sounded so great.

This idea came about when we were taking a break at the hotel from walking around the city earlier in the day, and before we went out to dinner (with a reservation.) It was also the time when most people probably just got off work, and during traffic peak hours.

We had avoided taking the train anywhere during peak hours during the whole trip until then. We didn't want to be in a train that's too crowded and to take a chance on missing our stops, etc.. But we decided we would do it, because the few times when we were in a fairly crowded train, Parisians seem to be respectful and kept everything to themselves, and they never would push or "squeeze" anyone:


Like this.

But something happened on our train ride to the Arc de Triomphe.

As we were waiting to get on the first train at the station there were lots of people around us. A group of young girls were talking to each other, laughing, and such. When the train came everyone started walking toward the train in an orderly fashion, and one of the girls from the little group mentioned above began pushing and squeezing among the crowds to get to the door. I thought it was strange and rude, but didn't think too much of it. She was the only one from her group that got on the train.

When everyone was on the train the girl was pretty close to both John and I. Again, most Parisians would not have direct contact with you or your body even if it was crowded on the train. But the girl was still leaning on people. Eventually she leaned on me and my bag (like a small messenger bag). It was weird and uncomfortable so I stepped backward and stood by the seating area.

The train made a couple stops, and every time it stopped and went people in the carts would "shift" a little. All of a sudden the train jerked and John seemed to be losing his balance a bit. He reached out to the metal bars to keep himself from pushing onto others, like so:



All of a sudden John looked at me and said, "My wallet is gone," and then he told me it was the girl (who was leaning on everyone) who was then facing toward the door. She was also the small girl pictured above... the one on the left standing between me (camera) and John!

I asked if he was sure. He said yes, so I then said, "then get it back!"

The train was still moving. John poked the girl's shoulder to get her attention. She turned her head and was like, "what?!"

John said, "MY WALLET. GIVE IT BACK."

Everyone standing around them was looking. A couple people started talking (and I had no idea what they were saying.)

She didn't speak. Just looked at him. John then said again, "Wallet. Give it."

The girl slowly reached down toward the floor and pulled up John's wallet and gave it to him.

A couple guys standing by the door nodded at John (a gesture of approval?) and an old guy started scolding the girl, until everyone got off a larger station (to transfer.)

John and wondered if the old guy scolded the girl because she was stealing, or because she didn't get away with it.

Fortunately John discovered that his wallet was gone soon enough, and before anyone got off the train. The girl didn't have time to take anything from his wallet before she was caught.

John said he knew it was the girl because he felt the girl's hand on his leg when the train was stopping too quickly. He thought she was just trying to grab onto something for balance. But then he felt her hand again a bit higher, and he realized that spot was where his wallet was (deep in his front pocket!) and he knew she took his wallet.

We knew we had to be careful, but I think we got a little too relaxed and was not being more cautious of our belongings, and almost got taken advantage of. Lesson learned.

Oh, and this was confirmed: A good Parisian would not push or touch you in the train station or on the train, but a bad one probably would.

a sense of entitlement?

Sometimes we get happy messages from happy people who come to the shop, and we love and appreciate it! It has also happened more than once, sad to say, when someone complains about me, or John, or our shop in general, via email, or through a more public place such as myspace.

These few people complains about how rude we are (and I'll explain why,) and how much they wished our business would fail.

There have been occasions when a person comes into the shop, finds a table, sets down his backpack, pulls out his water bottle, plugging in his laptop, and starts surfing online, or typing his term paper.

We wait by the register for him to come and order, and the person does not even look up from his screen.

We ask what we can make for him, and he says, "Oh, I'm OK. Don't need anything right now."

Then we'd say things like, "Hey, if you're staying, we'll need you to make a purchase."

He may stand up and get something, but other times he'd reply, "There are other coffee shops you know. I just don't want anything. You are asking me to leave?"

We say, "Yes, we'll need you to order if you'd like to say."

The person gets angry and leaves.

Really? Coming to a coffee shop, not purchasing anything, to just using the laptop (or reading the magazines, or going to the bathroom, or hanging out,) and thinking it's OK?

After he leaves, he finds our email or myspace page and sends messages to tell us how rude and bad we are, how much we suck, and how much he wishes that the shop fails.

It doesn't make sense. We're a small local business that's making a living by offering great products, and SELLING them. People don't go into a restaurant, a bakery, or a bar, to just sit down, relax, and not make an order, or go watch a movie in the theater without paying... why do they think it's OK to do it at a little coffee shop?

When a person stays without buying anything, but uses our space, electricity, and heater or a/c, he is ripping us off, and he is also ripping off all of our customers. He is a coffee shop leech!

We enjoy making the perfect cup for those who appreciate it and supports us. We love having friends, families, and customers in the shop, where we share coffee and tea ideas and talk over a serious brew. When a person doesn't respect us or our family and friends, he will get thrown out.

grumpy

I've been kind of grumpy off and on for the past few days. It all began when the A/C at the caffe start to have problems. The technicians were called but nothing was fixed.

Yesterday we learned that the compressor needed to be replaced. Fine. We got different quotes from various companies. One company quoted us $1,5000, another $2,500, and yet another $2,700! Fine. What needs to be replaced needs to be replaced.

Then we eventually found out that the whole A/C unit needs to be replaced, and it will be around $5,000. WTF.

This is why I'm feeling all hot and grumpy today.

don't do that

I hate people who are manipulative. Geez. If you want something, ask and we can talk about it. Don't whine and play victim around me. Poo on you.

When you don't get it, you don't get it. Simple as that. It's really not my fault that you lack confidence, talent, and the drives to learn and excel, and that you suck. Why annoy me with your stupidity?

I know I have to "see the big picture" in this situation. I AM looking at the big picture, and you should not be in it. You're the whining weak link who doesn't belong. I know they say I have to be patient... I AM patient, but I'm just a little stupidity-intolerant. Stupid people irritate me. You irritate me.

I'm glad I don't have to see you often. I don't want to get your weakness/sadness/whininess cooties. They have doctors for that, you know.

As far as all those things I said to you... Yes I meant to say you were incapable of doing those things right. Yes I meant to say you needed learn more. Yes I meant to say you were supposed to be getting better... The rest of us were all moving forward, but you were not progressing. You were pulling us back... and No you were not cut for the job. No you could not take my things. No you were not my friend. No you couldn't manipulate me just because you were weak and sad.

F*ck off already.

they thought they could do it

Last night when I came back to the caffe (right around 10pm) I saw a group of high school-ish kids leaving the store from the back entrance, and a girl was telling a boy, "... He asked us to leave last time because we brought in outside food."

OK, from what I understand "He" should be John, and "asked (them) to leave because (they) brought in outside food" was totally what John would do when he saw people bring in outside food such as burgers & fries or a big sub into the caffe.

It's true. Some people think it's OK to bring hamburgers and french fries to coffee shops... that doesn't happen often, but it does occur. People shouldn't bring McDonolds to Takashi's, so why should they bring Burger King to an espresso and tea place?

There were a few times people brought in outside food, and we'd ask them to finish their food on our outside patio. We probably don't need to give any explanation, but the food smell does get trapped in the caffe, and it is very disrespectful to us and the other customers.

I don't mind getting an occassional, "Oh, they (John and I) are just snobby," or "Are they (John and I) serious?" or "Wow, I don't expect to be treated like this at a coffee shop." The one thing that bothers me (once in a while) is the fact that people think it's their right to bring and eat a hamburger at a local independent coffee shop. I just don't get it. Would they bring a BigMac and a large fries to Starbucks? Why or why not?

Apparently some shops do not mind when people bring in Chinese food or tuna salad... I don't get this either. You are a coffee shop for crying out load. I think sometimes these shops are where these customers' behaviors were learned.

We select the finest beans and roast them fresh to bring out the best flavors in the coffee. We study and perfect our espresso and coffee-making techniques. We source the best full-leaf teas and delicious bubble teas. So, NO, you can't have that Whopper inside my shop.

don't cheat him

A friend came to see John and I yesterday. I'm not going to disclose his name becase this is a semi-sensitive matter... but I'm going to call him N.

N met a lovely Chinese girl at a club 4 year ago. He was happy, and the girl was happy, and they got married very soon afterward. We used to tease him and said she was totally out of his league. (He was cool and fun, but the girl was a lot prettier than him. He was not bad looking or anything though, but still... Sorry N.)

We didn't usually see them together. She just hung out with her friends more often than with him. But it was OK because he was happy, and she was happy.

Yesterday I asked how she was. N said they had been seperated for over six months and the wife was staying with a friend. Hmm. I then ask what the deal was. He said she hadn't been talking to him much and the problems they had were still there. There was not much he could do.

I then ask why they didn't just get divorced. I didn't like to see couples split but when there's nothing they are doing or can do to help, don't drag on just because. He said he was thinking about that, but he still loved her and didn't want the divorce to prevent her from staying in the U.S..

OK here the deal, N. You guys have been legally married for over four years so there won't be any problem with her getting her residency. And I'm not trying to burst your bubbles, but when the first things she cared about right after you guys got married were her residency status and about brining her parents over, you should have known.

I like N because he is my friend and he is nice and cool (even though sometimes he is just not paying attention). I don't quite get the girl because I don't know her well but when it looks like what she did and is doing, and the whole marriage thing are to get N to get her a legal residency, then she is just not cool.

It's not my place to say much of anything, but I did remind N that they could both meet someone else in the near future and when that happens, their marrital status is going to make things more complicated.

Who am I to tell people what to do? I'm not. I'm just rambling about the whole love-marriage-residency-citizenship thing. I just don't like it when my friend's emotions and love (ok it starts to sound cheesy) are cheated. Cheer up N, and do what you have to do, and booooo the girl.