don't cheat him

A friend came to see John and I yesterday. I'm not going to disclose his name becase this is a semi-sensitive matter... but I'm going to call him N.

N met a lovely Chinese girl at a club 4 year ago. He was happy, and the girl was happy, and they got married very soon afterward. We used to tease him and said she was totally out of his league. (He was cool and fun, but the girl was a lot prettier than him. He was not bad looking or anything though, but still... Sorry N.)

We didn't usually see them together. She just hung out with her friends more often than with him. But it was OK because he was happy, and she was happy.

Yesterday I asked how she was. N said they had been seperated for over six months and the wife was staying with a friend. Hmm. I then ask what the deal was. He said she hadn't been talking to him much and the problems they had were still there. There was not much he could do.

I then ask why they didn't just get divorced. I didn't like to see couples split but when there's nothing they are doing or can do to help, don't drag on just because. He said he was thinking about that, but he still loved her and didn't want the divorce to prevent her from staying in the U.S..

OK here the deal, N. You guys have been legally married for over four years so there won't be any problem with her getting her residency. And I'm not trying to burst your bubbles, but when the first things she cared about right after you guys got married were her residency status and about brining her parents over, you should have known.

I like N because he is my friend and he is nice and cool (even though sometimes he is just not paying attention). I don't quite get the girl because I don't know her well but when it looks like what she did and is doing, and the whole marriage thing are to get N to get her a legal residency, then she is just not cool.

It's not my place to say much of anything, but I did remind N that they could both meet someone else in the near future and when that happens, their marrital status is going to make things more complicated.

Who am I to tell people what to do? I'm not. I'm just rambling about the whole love-marriage-residency-citizenship thing. I just don't like it when my friend's emotions and love (ok it starts to sound cheesy) are cheated. Cheer up N, and do what you have to do, and booooo the girl.